I wrote this a couple of years back, in the middle of real imposter syndrome, feeling like I wasn't enough, but wanting more anyway at the same time.
I keep coming back to this poem whenever something big is coming up. It reminds me of the purpose behind everything I've been doing.
My mother taught me to be grateful
for whatever could be held in two hands:
a little money, a little love,
a little room with the curtains drawn.
I tried.
I tried to want less.
I tried to call enough enough.
I tried to believe that wanting more
was some kind of ingratitude.
But there is a hunger in me
I don't know how to quiet.
I want the room to turn
when I walk into it.
I want to make something beautiful
that bears my name.
I want to wake beside someone
whose hands still make me forget
what time it is.
I want the money.
I want the miles.
I want the beautiful mistakes.
I want to be old one day
and look back at this life
and know I didn't spend it
trying to be easy to love.
Maybe that's all ambition is:
the refusal
to make yourself smaller
just because someone else
is comfortable that way.
The song, converted with AI
Converted with ChatGPT. I don't yet know how to turn a poem into song lyrics myself, so AI does it for now.
[Verse 1]
Mama said, "Be grateful, darling.
Life doesn't ask for much.
Keep your feet beneath the table.
Don't reach too far.
Don't reach too much."
So I learned to hide my wanting.
Learned to keep it small.
Learned to say, "This is enough."
But it never felt like enough at all.
[Pre-Chorus]
I tried to kill the feeling.
I tried to play it safe.
But every time I settle,
I want to break away.
[Chorus]
I want the love.
I want the life.
I want the fire.
I want the night.
[Verse 2]
I want my name
On something beautiful.
I want my work
To outlive me.
I want the money.
I want the miles.
I want the cities.
I want the wild.
I want a kiss
At 2 a.m.
I want to fall.
I want to feel.
I want a life
That leaves a mark.
I want the light.
I want the dark.
[Pre-Chorus]
Maybe I'm hungry.
Maybe that's fine.
Maybe wanting
Isn't a crime.
I've spent too long
Trying to be good.
Now I want more
Than I thought I could.
[Chorus]
I want the love.
I want the life.
I want the fire.
I want the night.
[Bridge]
When I'm old,
Let me remember
Every road
I dared to take.
Every love.
Every city.
Every risk
I chose to make.
Don't give me
A perfect life.
Give me one
That was mine.
[Final Chorus]
Give me the love.
Give me the life.
Give me the fire.
Give me the night.
More, more, more.
I want it all.
More, more, more.
I want it all.
I wasn't made for less.
Turned into audio
Composed with Suno AI.
Style prompt Euphoric 80s-inspired synth pop, female vocalist, pulsing analog synthesizers, driving bassline, crisp electronic drums, atmospheric verses, huge catchy chorus, repetitive vocal hook, uplifting but slightly melancholic, polished modern production, cinematic energy
Notes on the process
Two lessons from this one. Suno AI runs out of breath on longer lines, the singing turns awkward once a line has too many words for the melody to carry. And a one-word style prompt makes a song flat and emotionless, it needs real texture and detail to land with any feeling.
What I want to try next, uploading my own voice to Suno and getting songs back in my own voice, and writing the lyrics myself instead of handing that over to ChatGPT.